"Silent Spring"--Told In Vanity License Plates

This year is the 50th anniversary of the publication of Rachel Carson's Silent Spring, the book that alerted the nation to the dangers of organochlorine compounds like DDT, PCBs, and dioxin. In 1994 Sierra published this retelling of that environmental classic in an entirely new way--with every word taken from a genuine California vanity license plate. If the monkeys who randomly type out the works of Shakespeare learn to drive, this story might zip past in the fast lane on the Hollywood Freeway.Thanks to Daniel Nussbaum, with whose kind permission we reprint his opus. (For readers unfamiliar with the genre, Nussbaum suggests thinking phonetically and reading aloud. Remember what you learned in the second grade: when in doubt, sound it out.) --Paul Rauber

ITHAPNZ INA TOWN, MAYBEE SOMTING LYKE URTOWN. LIFE DUZ KARRYON 1 SEASON FOLLOIN ANOTHER. HAPPI SUMMRS CUMNGO. AUTUMN DAZZLES, ITDOES AMAZE. WNTRTYM, WEEE CRITTRS KNOWHOW TO FIND BERRIES INSNOW.

    SPRINGE. LONBHLD TFIIS SPELL, ANEV1L1, DUZZ TAKEOVR. WEREVIR FOLKS LOOK AROUND: DEDDUX, DDED CHLXX, NOCOWS YN ZAT MEADOW OUTHERE, SHEEP GETSICK ANDIE. AA STRANGE BLIGHT CHANGEZ EVRYTNG.

    WEIRDED OWT MDS SEE PATIENS GOUNDAR INA2ND. XUBRANT KIDDOZ GGONE LIKEDAT THEDOCS SED, "UMM, DONTASK MMMME. II CNTXPLN IT."

    ITSO QUIETT, INONE NOTKOOL SORTOF WAY. THBIRDS, 4EXAMPL. WHAHAPN 2EM? NONE ARRIVE AT BAKYARD FEEDERS. DIS SPRNG HAZ NNNOE VOICES. AMS B4 DYD THROB WYTHE THA DAWNNNN CHORUS: ROBINZZ, JJAYZ, DOVES, WRENS ETALIA DDID 4MERLY SINGOUT. THSTIME NADA. SILENCE, DATSALL.

    WITCHS DIDIT ORR 4N AGENTS ORELSE PERVRSE ALIEN BEINGS. UTHNKSO? NOPE. ZEE FOOLISH PEEPLE MADE THEIR OWN AGONEE.

    AFTER WWII AMERIKA WENTMAD 4AAA NEWTOY: KLORN8D HYDRO CARBON INSECT KILLER POISONZ. SUDDNLY ALLOVER THEUS THE HIEST VALUE CAME2 BE THIS1: DEDBUGS. NOTHNG MUST GET NTHEWAY OFD PERSONN WITH DA SPRYGUN. IPH PETS DROPDED AND RAKOONZ, BARNYRD ANIMLZ, LARKS, POSSUMM, PHEASNT PLUS SALMON DO2, THENN TUFFF. WEDID TURN OUR F8 OVER2EZ 2SOME GUYZ ONA DETHTRP WHOO KEEPON SPEAKIN 2WORDS: SPRAY MORE.

    WAR ONTHE FIREANT BRINGS DVST8TN 2TEXAS, LUZIANA, ALABAMA, GEORGIA, ANNDE FLORIDA. ONE ALLOUT REKLISS CAMPAIN TTO ELIMN8 JAPNEEZ BEETLES SHATERD ECOLOGI INTHE MIDWST. NN DETROIT, POWDER LIKE DDT ONLY ALOT WORSE, FELL INNA DREDFUL BLZZZRD. MEANTYM MANYA CHEMICL DEALER GOES, "HUCARES! WERRICH!"

    BYYYY SEEKING 2CONQUR JUSTA HANDFUL OF UNWANTD SPECIES, INTLGNT PEOPLE DIDD ALLOW POYZYN 2B SPREAD EVRYWHR ONEARTH. H20, SOIL, PLANTZ, AMEBAS, ZE REMOTE ARCTIK PLRBAER: ALLOFEM TAINTD. EVN THEMOST LLITTLE NEON8 CHILDE HAS CHMICLS INSYDE.

    AAAAA DEDLY TOXXIC RAIN FALLS DOWN NONSTOP ALLTHAT KILLN. 4WHAT? UPNCOMN INSECTE STRAINS LAFF OFF WWHATT USED2B LETHL. DUSTEM 2DMX 1SUMMER; NXTYEAR, THERBAK.

    SUPREAM COURT MEMBER WILLYUM OH DOUGLAS WROTEIT: 4A SOCIETI 2BJUST, WEHAVE2 SUPPORT HUMNRTS, NOTT 4GETN OURRRR RITE2 ANATRL NVRNMNT.

    ENUFFF AROGANT THINKN. ENUFF BEHAVIN CAVEMAN STYYLE. IF WEDONT GETOVER THISS FIX8TED NEED 2CONTRL NATURE, SMDAY SOON RPLANET WILLL BEDEAD.